


Legendary Ninja Nosiness

by kenmei



Category: Naruto
Genre: Gen, Nosiness, Obliviousness, One-Shot, Snooping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-20 21:47:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30011418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kenmei/pseuds/kenmei
Summary: There was an odd civilian trotting around the ninja residential district. The civilian spent a couple days walking around the apartment buildings and marking notes down about the structure and details of the building. Judicious snooping and stealth was used by many of the bored ninja to find out what was happening. This was especially easy as the civilian had a tendency to speak to himself under his breath and not write his notes in code. They soon knew close to everything about the young man.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 4





	Legendary Ninja Nosiness

Legendary Ninja Nosiness  


There was an odd civilian trotting around the ninja residential district. The civilian spent a couple days walking around the apartment buildings and marking notes down about the structure and details of the building. Judicious snooping and stealth was used by many of the bored ninja to find out what was happening. This was especially easy as the civilian had a tendency to speak to himself under his breath and not write his notes in code. They soon knew close to everything about the young man.

It quickly became apparent that the civilian was contemplating buying and renovating one of the older buildings with the profit he had made off his newest novel. Stealing and returning the young man’s notes on his plans quickly made the rounds of the various gossip hounds. All while the young man was oblivious to their actions. A consensus was soon reached as the civilians' plans and budget was approved and one of the ninja was prompted by his peers and a genjutsu was soon cast. It didn’t change much, it just encouraged him to go in the direction they wanted. The young man’s route had already been planned out but none of them were what he was looking for and most of the buildings were not for sale. There was only one building that was in a sufficient state of dilapidation and who had a landlord who might be up for selling. 

The nosy ninja were interested in the young man’s plans for renovations and the automation and amenities he had in the plans. The young man was fast-tracked to the appointed building. The civilian looked around in confusion for a second on how fast he made the rounds to that part of town but quickly shrugged it off as the appropriate memories and his own personal notes of how the other buildings were inappropriate had been filled in. He gazed at the building and noted down its various defects and flagged down one of the planted shinobi who was coincidentally leaving the building to ask him some questions.

The snooping shinobi looked on as one of the unassuming workers of T&I subtly convinced the young man that this was the building he was looking for all while making him think it was his own idea. They patted themselves on the back as the young man made more notes and then went home to get his portfolio of plans and proposals. The contents of which had passed many hands of snooping shinobi and the desk of the likes of the head of T&I along with a copy of the civilian’s file.

The young man spent some time straightening out his papers and changed into more formal clothing and then walked back to the apartment building in search of its owner. Getting a meeting with the man was suspiciously easy but being that he had never done something like this before he did not think anything of it. The meeting went smoothly. The old man who owned the building had already heard the ninja gossip about the strange civilian wandering about. He had expected that they would work fast when he put out the word that he was wanting to sell the building but not this fast. Why he had only talked to his grandson yesterday about retiring.

Well ninja-gossip and nosiness was formidable as always. Ara, ara… A moment of silence to the unknowing young man who was about to come live under a microscope. It only took a week for the young man’s purchase to go through and then a week more to contract out the various renovation work and get his plans approved. Then there was a meeting with the residents of the building with a plea for them to take a long mission for the duration of the renovation as he wanted to get the building up to code and implement his plans there were even some shift of homes as he wanted to change the whole ground floor and the only rooms fit for living would be his own. The rest would be transformed into the only ninja accessible places. He gave them first pick of what unit they wanted for the duration of their original contract. He already had mock floor plans of what he was going to offer.

The ninja easily accepted the task of finding a long term mission and declined the civilians' offer to subsidize a storage scroll to keep their stuff safe from the contractors coming and going. The few living in the ground floor apartments agreed to move up to one of the upper floors when the time came. The efficient ninja had their stuff packed and a mission in hand by the next day. The contractors were in the building the next day. Gutting the ground floor and taking care of the more cosmetic work on the building. Despite the look of dilapidation it was mostly cosmetic issues. He had them put extra insulation in the walls, floor and ceiling though for every floor. This along with a change to double paned windows would reduce some of the monthly costs along with the noise pollution. The area the building was in wasn’t a loud one so the noise canceling aspect of it would not do much but maybe the more hearing sensitive shinobi might appreciate it or they might hate it because of the paranoia aspect. Well there were other options if they did not like his apartments.

He finalized the building plans for the ground floor and sourced the extra large mail boxes and signed off on the various finishes he wanted them to use. He was kind of amazed at the efficiency of ninja construction. But after a moment of thought he concluded that in a world where a woman’s finger flick could put a hole in the wall one needed to be good at fixing things.

It’s like the saying about superman ‘man of steel, world of paper’ though probably not that bad for most ninja. The scraping of the old paint and getting rid of the old tiles and linoleum were the first changes to all the apartments. The wood flooring was fine though he did have them sand and refinish them. He installed easy to clean tile to the foyer, the kitchen, and the bathrooms. The paints were picked for the same quality. He had butcher-block countertops put in as wood was one of the cheapest amenities in konoha. He somewhat wished they had better relations with Iwa if only to get some cheaply priced marble or granite. Needs must, besides ninja of konoha were probably more used to wooden countertops and it was still a hundred times better than what the building had before. The cabinets that were previously there were still okay; they were made with solid hardwood; they just need some hardware replacements of the hinges and knobs.

His costs were racking up, but it was still within his acceptable margin. He was able to save on some places as the costs had been cheaper than he had expected. He was able to get the washer and dryers for cheap as a launderette was closing 4 streets away. He was also able to get a good deal on the tiles he needed as he was buying in bulk.

Part of his plans were to put in a bath house for the residents on the ground floor. This was one of the major reasons he moved out the ground floor residents. The ground floor would house; his apartment, his office area, mail boxes/mail room, male/female bath houses, and laundry area. The rest of the floors would house a combination of studios or 1-3 bedroom apartments. He had downsized the bathrooms to only hold a sink, toilet, and large shower. He figured if they wanted a soak they could use his bathhouse area. The shower was really only for those too in a hurry or those that didn’t want to leave their house for downstairs. 

This let the rest of the apartment be a little bigger. He made simple studio style apartments, along with dorm style ones that held rooms of similar size along with a more traditional large master plus one or two extra bedrooms. Looking over his notes he thought he remembered marking down a different ratio of the different units but no that was his handwriting marking more studios and dorm style units than the traditional set up. He shrugged that made sense anyways if they were going to do the family thing they would buy or rent a house. The biggest change to the building aside from the ground floor was an elimination of stairs.

In his mind as a ninja they should all know how to wall walk by the time they move out and if they can’t for some reason the apartments available on the second floor should be close enough for them to jump too. They took up unnecessary room that could be used for other things in his opinion. Instead he sections off the front door walkway and made them into individualized outdoor space they could utilize. Kind of like a pseudo front yard. The front area was left un-fenced to allow easy jumping access. The stairs had been old creaky outdoor stairs anyways. He put in pillars instead between each apartment. They were built in continuously from top to bottom to give an even surface for the shinobi to walk on. 

Maintenance would be contracted out to the village as a running d-rank. He already had the paperwork processing to have them come out daily to clean the bathhouse and public access walkways. Any apartment maintenance would also be contracted out to the village. He figured it might be impetus for the jonin instructors to have their team learn tree walking just so they could take his d-ranks. He got a little giggle as he imagined their faces that they learned this awesome skill just to do a d-rank. His personal notes and ideas again made the rounds and many jonin instructors got a devious and contemplative look on their face.

A month later and renovations were done ahead of the 3-month timeline he had projected. Most of his residents had taken a 3-month border patrol mission so the renovation wouldn’t mess with their lives. He was again surprised at the speed and decided it was fine as newly renovated spaces should be given a chance to breathe when finished especially when paint is involved. Even though he made sure to use Inuzuka approved materials he still let them air out for two weeks as he got his contracts and advertisements set up. On the day of completion he had one of the shinobi take him from floor to floor and he inspected all of the apartments. They were all nicely done and the construction crew had done a good job cleaning up after themselves. 

He marked off the apartments that were already rented in his list to the previous residents and laid out advertisement notices for the rest. He already had his contracts ready and his acquaintance in the bank was intrigued with the idea of automatic payments. He had brought it up to his boss who after some discussion decided to do a trial of it as long as there was agreement with him and his renters. He was amazed at how quickly he got interested people coming in to tour the apartments. He was not able to take them on tours of the actual apartments but he had printed out layout cards of the various room types. He led them through a tour of the bath house area. The lockers and the mail boxes. He made sure to assure them that the bath house locker, the mailbox, and his door worked with an all in one key. Anything too large to fit through their mail slot would get stored in the mail room where he had individual cubbies ready for each apartment. A card would be slotted into their box to tell them something was waiting on them.

He suggested that they keep a change of clean clothes in their locker so they didn’t have to worry about tracking filth through their home after a long mission. He showed the conveniently located laundry area and assured them that they were shinobi quality machines that could take heavier items. He even pointed out the vending machines that he had already filled with portion sized pouches of scentless laundry soap, fabric softener, dryer sheets, weapon cleaning oil, and three pack rags. He had even set out a large table where they could do weapons maintenance while they waited on their laundry. There were also just some comfy seating with a small book shelf nearby if they didn’t feel like doing that.

He did not know that in the background those nosey shinobi had been following his progress with interest. There had even been a low-key secret tournament to sort out who would get one of the apartments. The young man had been amazed at how quickly all his units filled up. Every one of the new residents all opted to do automatic monthly payments. He had set up a maintenance request box in the laundry area long with prewritten forms they could fill out. It asked for the apartment number, resident name, and the nature of the problem. He would collect any at the end of his day to sort through. 

He would fill out the rest of the form with either a rejected stamp and either an explanation of why or more likely another stamp that stated that the request was outside the renter agreement for him to cover but he would be happy to put in a mission request for them and add it to their monthly rent. That would get deposited in their mailbox and they could fix it themselves or circle that they agreed to the added fee. If the request was covered under their renters agreement he would put out a mission request and the fee to pay the ninja would come out of his maintenance fund. Before that though he would post a time card to them to pick a time and date to be available for the d-rank. They could mark a time and he would put in a request.

He had felt like he had done an excellent job of automating everything. He mostly spent his days writing his novels in his apartment. A little bit of time each day was spent signing off completed mission scrolls for the bathhouse, and any maintenance requests that he needed to put in. Ninja gossip marveled about the innovations the civilian had brought. After a while of snooping they knew most of it had come about out of laziness. The young man was a real home body that was not afraid to put in the initial leg work but let his work speak for himself. They had even heard him contemplating to himself about getting a part-timer be the one to run the mission request forms to the mission office.

They enjoyed the little lazy civilian though. They especially loved the early access reading to his novels and to his unpublished short stories. The young man was still oblivious though that his apartment building housed almost exclusively anbu or jonins and that every time a renter contract expired there would be a small sparring tournament that determined who would get it. After all, while the young man enjoyed the benefits of his automation to live a peaceful life so too did the elite ninja who lived in the well-maintained building.

**Author's Note:**

> I at first wrote this as a chaptered fic but it eventually just felt right to leave it as it. I had this whole plan about the MC being a low-key, lazy reincarnator but it felt fine to just leave it as is. Cause let's be real I have a hard time finishing the long ones. It always bothered me how normal the building looked the ninja villages. They shouldn't be limited to the normal physics civilians have to face. Sure the young ones might have some trouble but they would learn out of necessity if nothing else.


End file.
